There seems to be a sudden shortage of hobbies among the elderly gentlemen running the country. Having failed to handle inflation, infrastructure and international relations, they have now taken up a far more delicate responsibility. Managing youngsters.
Earlier, this was done by parents, uncles and occasionally the neighbour who had nothing better to do. Now it has been elevated to policy level.
First came the protection of women. A noble idea, except that it appears to have been interpreted as restriction. If there are prowling Romeos outside, the solution seems to be to make a law and keep Juliet safely indoors. It is an efficient system. If we create a love-jihad law, nothing can go wrong.
Then attention shifted to the youth. Young people, it seems, were making independent choices. Meeting people, falling in love, even thinking for themselves. This clearly required supervision.
So we now have laws around interfaith relationships where love comes with a background check. Boy meets girl is no longer enough. Boy meets girl, submits details, and waits for clearance. Romance has entered the file system.
And just when you thought things could not get more organised, Gujarat has introduced a masterstroke. If you wish to live together, you must register.
Register what exactly is not clear. Your affection, your compatibility, or perhaps your weekly arguments?
One can imagine a neat office somewhere. A young couple stands at the counter.
“Sir, we like each other.”
“Very good. Kindly fill Form 17A for Emotional Intentions and attach proof that you have had at least one disagreement and resolved it peacefully.”
And naturally, there will be inspections. A knock on the door.
“We are here to verify your relationship. Please demonstrate mutual understanding.”
Meanwhile, the same wise men are deeply invested in religion. They speak of only one religion in the country and try to make their voting bank revolve around it, while themselves demonstrating great flexibility in practising it.
The youngsters watch quietly. They see the speeches. They see hypocrisy in these old men and then they do something very modern. They lose interest.
Because nothing confuses the youth more than being told what to believe by people who behave differently.
Meanwhile, in Parliament, something rather interesting is happening. Young voices are rising. Articulate and dynamic. Young women speak with confidence. A young opposition leader asks questions that make senior leaders with plastic sneers stuck on their faces, shift in their seats.
Because managing a country is one thing. Managing a generation that thinks is quite another.
The old men may continue to regulate, supervise and register the youth. But there is one small problem.
Youngsters grow up.
And when they do, they do not follow. They lead.
But one warning dear youngsters. Remember to check one small detail. Whether your names are still on the voter list.
Because with these old men and their SIR strategy, even that might require your scrutiny…!
